I often write and speak about the essential need of all humans to belong. It is a core concept of Constellation Work and drives us as animals in such powerful ways.
Most of the most glorious achievements of humans have risen out of people working together for a common end. On the other side of this, the most appalling atrocities committed by humans to humans are also driven by coming together with common goals—gone awry. The need to belong, consciously and unconsciously, is what allows war, rape, genocide and racism but it also motivates us to serve and care and create.
We will do anything to belong and for most of you reading this, taking a look at how we behaved during Covid, how we are behaving right now in an election year, well, this is a place to recognize our own cult of belonging. As society and its structures continues to degrade, watching our own extremism; places where our “we” is adamantly right and others “we” is wrong is an important practice.
How are you like those you disagree with?
Where is your grace? Your peace? Can you share it or grow it?
Where peace falls away, the cult of extremism is likely to be close at hand. Finding an honest place in the middle without diluting reality to a state of ambivalence or living in a state of “comfortably numb” is the work of being human right now.
May we all grow in our tolerance—of discomfort, of disagreement. May we all stretch a little more generously into offering and creating peace-inside, outside—it’s needed everywhere.
XXLexi
